How can you get four suits for a dollar?

Buy a deck of cards.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.

What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils. 
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?

A red carnation.

What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?

A pink car-nation.

What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business! 